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A Basic Guide to the World of BDSM

basic guide to bdsm

Exploring sexual fantasies and kinks is one of the big benefits of joining an adult dating site. They can put you in touch with other adults in your area looking to hookup for the same thing. BDSM has become more popular and mainstream over the past few years. So, if you’re done with being vanilla (a phrase used to describe someone not into BDSM) let’s delve into this world and get to grips with some of the most common BDSM words and phrases.

First things first, let’s explain what this phrase actually means.

What Does BDSM Mean

BDSM stands for bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&S), and sadism and masochism (S&M). With so many strands to it, BDSM can mean a lot of different things to a lot of people, and being into BDSM doesn’t automatically mean you’re interested in all of the categories it stands for, or you hang out in dungeons.

The D&S strand of BDSM that refer to the dominance and submissive roles are all about the exchange of power, the dominant carrying out acts of power on the submissive.

The S&M of BDSM refers to sadism which is the act of inflicting pain on another. A masochist on the other hand enjoys receiving sexual pain.

All BDSM encounters are referred to as ‘scenes’, where the various categories are acted out between participants. Sometimes this does lead to sex, but this isn’t always the case. BDSM scenes can range from the more entry level activities involving spanking, tying up, hot wax, leather masks and nipple clamps to more technical tools involving whips, chains and the use of harsher equipment.

Common BDSM Phrases

Now we have the basics ironed out, below is a basic guide to the list of most common phrases associated with BDSM.

Aftercare

As the phrase suggests, aftercare is an important BDSM activity that takes place after a scene has taken place. It allows participants to calm down and get back in touch with reality. It is important for characters to re-connect and check in with each other after intense experiences.

Bondage

Bondage describes the BDSM act of tying someone up, whether it’s with stockings, handcuffs, scarves or more complicated equipment.

Collared

When a submissive is effectively owned by a dominant and takes on pup status, typically in a loving intimate relationship.

Cuckold

A cuck is a man or woman who gets off watching someone else have sex with their partner. Female cucks go by the name of cuck queens, and male cucks who invite another man to have sex with their wife can go by the name of a bull.

Edgeplay

This describes the more risky side of BDSM activities, where physical harm is more likely to occur. Think blood and knives and you’re in the right area. Needle play and knife play fall into this category.

Fetish

Describes a specific interest or obsession in a particular object or experience. Learn more about the most common fetishes.

Hankerchief Codes

As the name suggests, wearing a hankerchief of a particular colour or position indicates a particular area of BDSM interest.

Hogtie

This is when a submissive’s ankles and wrists are tied up behind their back.

Impact Play

This refers to any BDSM play that has impact on the body. This can range from spanking, slapping to caning and flogging to name just a few.

Leather

This material has almost become synonymous with the world of BDSM. From leather clothing to leather equipment, it’s a BDSM staple.

Munch

This refers to a group of people into BDSM who meet at a vanilla location in non-BDSM clothing.

Queening

Part of D&S play, this refers to the dominant woman, known as the Queen, who is worshipped and sits on the submissive’s face.

Rack

An important part of BDSM, this term stands for Risk Aware Consensual Kink. Similar to the SSC (safe, sane and consensual), it is a guideline to ensure that everyone taking part in BDSM does not come to actual harm, but are aware of the dangers that they are consenting to.

Safeword

A pre-arranged codeword that can be used to stop all BDSM activity.

Switch

This term refers to someone who is happy to switch between both the dominant and submissive roles.

The above list is just the tip of the iceberg into the world of BDSM, with many more terms out there that describe either the scenes or the various kinks. This is however a good starting point to make it sound like you know a thing or two about BDSM when you’re adult dating online.


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